Learning to Fly
by CatInFrance
Summary: Things don't go exactly as planned when River Song ends up in the TARDIS at the wrong point in their timelines, acidentally meeting the newly-regenerated 9th Doctor. After losing his entire planet, will she be able to help him? And what about the paradox?
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own Doctor Who...**

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><p>River smashed against the floor with a bang. Grating pressed into her arms and legs, digging into her skin. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. Her TARDIS had a glass floor. Bright lights. A Doctor who spun around in a professor's jacket and god-awful bow tie, as well as the hat of the week. She peeled herself off of the ground with an effort. She managed a look around before she let her head thud on the metal flooring again.<p>

The desktop theme. Coral.

Worse than hers, but better than the gothic or the white circles that he'd had up forever. But regardless, it meant that it was wrong. Completely. Totally. Her vortex manipulator had locked onto the wrong TARDIS. Or rather, right TARDIS, wrong time stream.

River stood up, rising slowly. She gripped her diary a little tighter in one hand, smoothing out her shirt with the other. What was this? A glimpse into her future?

His past?

A man peered at her from around the console. A broken man. His face creased in anger and pain. Grief shook his hands, his mouth. River opened her mouth in shock. Her fingers flew through the pages to the back. She looked up, and down again. Back at the Doctor. The wrong Doctor.

The clothes, almost Victorian and formal, although burnt and torn, matched that of the picture where she'd scribbled '_eight_'. Her head swung back up and down. With less hair and different face. '_Nine'._ Oh god. That meant…

"What the hell are you doing here?"

That meant it had just happened.

"Oh, Doctor. I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry." River snapped the diary shut as soon as his eyes traveled down to the pages. "I'm not supposed to be here."

"Who are you?" The demand left his lips in a growl. It stung like an accusation.

She stepped forward toward him. Her hand went out, reaching to comfort him. He stepped back in return like he was flinching. And that absolutely killed her. "You don't know me yet," she replied in a whisper. It was all she could manage.

"Hell if I ever do," he snarled. Then his hands gripped the console with sudden weakness as if he might collapse. His voice changed and his eyes bored right into River's. "They're all dead. All of them." He looked as though he might weep. His voice broke an octave. "Why?"

She tilted her head in sympathy. She couldn't be there. Not only because it was changing both of their timelines, but because he was so young. And so raw.

His large white sleeves swung as his hand pulled down the lever. When he glanced back up, the panic in his face was evident. "I have to go back," he croaked. "Have to save them. I have to—I need to—" The hum of the TARDIS picked up speed, whirring.

"Don't you dare." River pushed back up the lever and reversed what the Doctor was doing as he circled the console. "It'll kill you. You can't go back. You can't ever go back. It's time-locked now, you need to _stop_!"

Her voice echoed with the last word as she grabbed his hand right above the lever again. His eyes met hers in confusion. The Doctor looked down at his hand, his new hand.

"I don't even know who you are." Melancholy eyes. Drawn face. A Northern accent. That was new.

River smiled with sadness in her eyes. "Spoilers."

"You know who I am. You know how to fly the TARDIS."

"Yes."

Unbearable agony and hope flooded his features. He paused. A long moment. River waited. And then the trembling question. "So are you…?"

"No, I'm not. Sorry, sweetie."

"No." His shoulders collapsed. "I suppose you wouldn't be." The Doctor leaned against the console and let his head droop.

River stood back and walked around the TARDIS. She stared down at the vortex manipulator and frowned, knowing she should leave. But not like this. "I like what you've done with the place," she said. "Not quite as nice as what you do in the future, but it'll work."

"What future?" he muttered.

"Oh don't be like that," River scolded. "The future's going to be fantastic."

"Fantastic?" The Doctor looked up, raising an eyebrow. "Of all the words?"

"Yes, fantastic. Now let's get you out of those awful clothes." River grabbed his arm but he shirked her grip.

"I like these clothes. I'm not changing." He crossed his arms.

"They look like you robbed… a hospital or something." She settled down on his eye level. "You need to let go." The Doctor refused to meet her eyes. His jaw clenched. River groaned and sat down against a coral beam. "I forget how impossible you are!" They both sunk into painful silence. River allowed her eyes to flicker to the Doctor's face once or twice. He looked cracked, holding his arms, holding all of his pieces together. Someone had ripped out his soul and burned it. She could tell, just watching him.

River had never seen him like this. She still wished that could be true. He was usually so good at hiding his pain, swallowing all he bit off. She rubbed her neck, weaving her fingers through her curls. Her Doctor would be telling her off for interfering, especially in his own timeline. That made her laugh. The sound felt out of place, hollow, in the silence. The Doctor gazed at her, dead eyes. River bit her lip sheepishly. It was decided, then. Timelines be damned. The Doctor needed her help. And whether he was her Doctor or not, she was going to help him. She wrapped her arm around the coral beam and pulled herself up.

"Alright, clean yourself up."

The Doctor only stared at her. She pursed her lips and put her hands on her hips. "Okay then, here's the choice: you can get up and find yourself some new clothes or I can pick them out for you. Goodness knows you won't be wearing a bow tie."

"Who are you?" He turned his head to watch River search for the wardrobe.

"River."

"Last name?"

She opened the door the wardrobe with an exclamation. "Well if you don't have one, why should I? Anyway, spoilers!"

"You keep on saying that."

River smiled over her shoulder and re-emerged from the giant closet. "What do you say? How about a nice jumper?"

"I want a jacket." It came out as a mumble, but River smiled to herself. He was involved now.

"There's a nice leather one here," she replied, pulling the black coat from the hanger and taking it over to him. "Bit 1940's, but what can you do?"

"_Fantastic_," the Doctor said sarcastically. He rolled his eyes, but they lit up, just a little. And he accepted the coat and jumper. "So now what?"

River winked. "We're going to go save some lives."


	2. Chapter 2

"Who?" The Doctor reached for a button. River swatted his hand away and he gaped at her. "It's my TARDIS!"

"Yeah, and not half an hour ago you were _this_ close to a suicidal mission into a time lock." River held up her thumb and pointer finger. "I'm driving."

"Where are we going?" The Doctor folded his arms across his chest. The new clothes were slung over his arm; he hadn't changed yet. But he'd cleaned up a bit, washed up and slung on a long black coat. He had so little hair that it almost made her smile.

"Oh, you look good now." River winked cheerfully, "But you'll look better in those." His eyes narrowed at her. "Okay, alright. Southampton, 1912." Under her breath she muttered, "You old impatient man."

She left the breaks on for the comfort of the noise. The Doctor's eyelids closed, soaking in the sound. They fluttered open and he glanced at her intensely as he understood what she'd said. "The Titanic? You want me to prevent the Titanic sinking?"

River shook her head. "Not the whole Titanic...we can't change time like that. Just one family. One more family that gets to live. Think of that."

The Doctor's face changed. He flushed and turned on her. "Just one? Just one family? You expect me to choose? Play god? _We_ don't get to decide who lives and dies, that's not fair! We don't do that!" He paused, "Or at least I don't. Not me. Not anymore."

River sighed and landed the TARDIS. "Just go outside."

"But how do I choose?" he roared.

For the first time, she raised her voice at him. "How do you ever choose?" The Doctor stared at her with an open mouth. She didn't break the gaze but let her tone quiet. "My love, in 900 years, you've made that choice so many times. In the future, so many more. You are hurting, I know. But you _cannot_ save everyone."

Rubbing his face with his hands, the Doctor's eyelids closed darkly. "I killed them _all_."

River laid her hand on his shoulder, pressing her lips into a line. "I know."

When he opened his eyes again, the emotion was gone. Swallowed. He nodded at River and walked toward door. Down the ramp, he turned back. "River, who are you?"

River smiled. "You'll be asking that for a while, sweetie."

"Oh, that's fantastic," the Doctor replied. He dropped the clothes and slipped out the TARDIS door. River followed, stopping in the doorway. She watched the Doctor survey his new surroundings. The air smelled salty, and from the door of the TARDIS, she could see the water lapping up against the land. The sight of the ships in the harbor took her breath away; steam billowed into the air from the decks.

People milled about in suits and dresses, many with newspapers bearing large print headlines about the Titanic's departure. She smiled to herself, pleased that she could get the landing right down to the day.

But the Doctor had already moved on. He was talking to a little boy who was asking about the blue box. He gestured behind him as he bent down on the boy's level and the tiniest of smiles crossed his lips. River stepped out of the TARDIS and closed the door, able to hear now.

"It really does though," the Doctor argued. The boy tugged down on his large gray hat and shook his head vigorously.

"No, sir," he replied, "I know all about the eight planets from my professors at school. No one lives on them."

"But there are more than eight, you just can't see them." He looked over his shoulder and shook his head at River. "Wait until Pluto," he said.

A young girl ran up in a large white coat all buttoned down the front. She pushed her curls behind her ears under her hat, grabbing the little boy's hand. "James, what are you doing talking to strangers? Mama is looking for you."

"But, Mary, look!" James pointed to the blue box excitedly. "That man says it comes from a different planet." The Doctor rose to his feet and River stepped next to him. She admitted that he looked very in place for once, with his clothes reflecting his surroundings. She watched as the girl's eyes slid over the TARDIS…she was old enough that the perception filter did its job.

"There's nothing special there. Now come on!"

"Mr. Doctor," James appealed, "may I please, please see inside?" He bounced a little, forgetting his upbringing like a normal little boy. The Doctor opened his mouth with a glance at River, but they were all interrupted by a strong gust of wind. Mary clasped her hat before it got away, but James' blew off. He jumped for it, too late, and started to run after it.

"James!" Mary screamed.

River's eyes widened. She grabbed the girl before she could chase her brother, lunging for his hat that floated in midair at the pier's edge. The Doctor stared at them, his eyes growing in panic. Like he had forgotten what to do.

Or like he was afraid to do it.

"Doctor!" River cried. The little boy made one last lunge for the hat, his shoes leaving the wooden board at the edge of the water. A gust created a hand of a wave that reached out of the water to grab at James' ankles. He tumbled forward with terror closing onto his features. "Doctor, you have to," River met his eyes desperately, feeling his apprehension but not letting it into her voice. "Please."

The Doctor turned on his heel and ran. He flung off his coat, kicked off his shoes, and dove straight into the freezing water. River's breath caught and she held it, watching the waves. She wrapped her arms around Mary, the girl's face frightened, and they both waited.

He had to come up. For the boy's sake, he couldn't stay down there. The winds on the water made it choppy. River stared anxiously. Every second under the water was a second too long. He couldn't…. He wouldn't….

A tiny hand breached the surface and James' face after it. He collapsed onto the edge of the pier, dripping. Mary broke from River's arms and sprinted to pull her brother out. The drenched little boy panted as Mary pulled him up onto solid ground. River gave a tiny exhale, but her eyes tightened. The Doctor was still in the water.

A head broke through the waves and the Doctor gasped, coughing the water out of his lungs. A spasm overtook his body and his face contorted in pain. "River!" he gasped. "Still…. Regenerating!" He groaned and tensed, disappearing underneath the water. Instantly, River threw off her shoes and the vortex manipulator. She shook out her arms and plunged into the ocean.

Knives of cold stabbed her chest and stole her breath instantly. She forced her eyes open, treading water. Where was he? The icy water disoriented her quickly. She forced herself to spin in a circle before she caught sight of his hand, glowing soft gold and sinking quickly. River cut through the water to the surface and drew in a deep breath. With terror she realized the waves her pushing them farther from the pier. The little girl—Mary—waved her arms frantically. She was shouting. River ducked underwater again.

Her arms pumped downwards with all her strength as her lungs burned and feet went numb. She could see the Doctor, almost reach him, radiating light. First twelve hours, she realized. They were lucky. With a final push, River reached him and wrapped her hand around his. He responded, still semi-conscious, gripping her hand. Her vision clouded at little at the edges, and unable to help herself, she opened her lips to take a breath. Instead, salt water flooded her mouth.

River fixed her eyes on the surface. Her muscles strained to get her there with the extra weight dragging her down. _Help me, Doctor_, she begged. She glanced back over her shoulder and he opened his eyes, just barely. It was all she needed. She broke through the water, and rather than swimming, rough hands grabbed her shoulders and yanked her upwards. Her fingers slipped away from the Doctor's and she tried to yell, but ended up doubling over coughing in a large white rowboat.

The boat rocked as new weight fell into the bottom next to River. She rolled onto her stomach and reached for the Doctor. More hands shoved her back and wrapped a blanket around her, forcing her dizzyingly upright. The Doctor started to cough in great heaves and she caved into a fatigued smile. They were all alive. She hadn't completely ruined all of space and time.

The Doctor sat up, blinking at River and grasping the edges of the boat. He smiled slightly, full of gratitude. "Mr. Daniels," a man with an oar nodded over at the Doctor and the other men in the boat, especially the one standing at the boat's edge, looked over at him. The standing man left his position and sat down next to the Doctor, resting his hand on the Doctor's shoulder. "Good sir," he said, "You just saved my son's life."


	3. Chapter 3

The Doctor wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, sweeping away the water he had coughed up. He looked at Mr. Daniels plainly, as if saving James hadn't been his intended result. River pursed her lips to keep them from curling into a smile. 900 years, and the Time Lord was still oblivious.

She looked out at the water. They'd drifted farther than she'd thought. The men in the boat aside from Mr. Daniels all rowed in the direction of the pier. He, on the other hand, had settled down in between River and the Doctor.

"Sir," he started. "You deserve a reward for that brave act. Mad, but brave. But first, may I inquire as to your name?"

"Not brave," the Doctor muttered. "I'm a coward. I could've let him drown."

"But you didn't," Mr. Daniels murmured.

"He's the Doctor. And you are very far from being a coward, my love."

Mr. Daniels wet his lips and looked up at the sky. "We are headed to New York tomorrow, and I can do very little for you, Doctor. But what I can, I will."

"On the Titanic?" The Doctor's head shot up. River raised her eyebrows at the two men. Mr. Daniels' face morphed quizzically.

"Yes, but I don't see what that's got to do with any—"

The Doctor beamed a tiny smile at River. "Fantastic. Mr. Daniels, I know exactly what you can do for me."

"Yes?"

The rowboat hit something solid. All three of them looked up; Mary, James, and another young girl waved at them. The men rowing the boat climbed out first, then reached down to pull River out.

The Doctor shook Mr. Daniels' hand firmly. "Don't get on that ship tomorrow."

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><p>On land, a woman who must have been Mrs. Daniels practically smothered the Doctor with an embrace. River slipped away to put on her shoes before anyone could do the same to her. She strapped the vortex manipulator around her wrist and glanced up to find everyone from the rowboat clamoring to shake the Doctor's hand. He looked uncomfortable.<p>

"River," he croaked, voice still hoarse from the effort of coughing on salt water.

"Sorry, sweetie," she grinned, returning to his side. He slid into his shoes and she helped him shoulder off the blanket and shrug into his coat. It was a useless exercise as both of them were dripping wet, too much for the jacket to do any good.

Mrs. Daniels threw the Doctor into another hug as Mr. Daniels attempted to shake his hand. "Are you sure I can't really repay you?" he said. James was huddled deep in the folds of several blankets, wolfing down the contents of a bowl of soup from a nearby café. Mary and the other little girl sat next to him on the pier.

River wrung the water from her flattened curls, somewhat displeased that her hair was going to frizz. The Doctor shook his head, rubbing water out of his short hair with a hand. "Just trust me, Mr. Daniels. If your son's life means anything to you, you'll go home today."

"Money, transportation, really, Doctor."

"Doctor who?" Mary asked.

"No, he's just the Doctor," James replied. He shivered as a wind blew, and River did so too. She tugged the blanket further around her shoulders.

"Doctor, really. My son would have died." Mr. Daniels raised his hands. He was a tall imposing figure with a soft face, and next to him, his shorter wife looked just as wholehearted, even with her severe features. "Why don't you want us to go?"

"You'll know soon enough. Promise me."

Mrs. Daniels put a hand on her husband's shoulder. "I believe him." Her eyes shone; River knew she'd been crying for the sake of her children. "Maybe we'll go next time."

Mr. Daniels bit his lip. He glanced at James and his dark eyes finally turned to River. The indecision was written across his features. The Titanic was history in action… just not the history he was looking for. He looked like a well-to-do man, probably one who had paid handsomely for the passage and wouldn't be refunded.

"Daddy," James said, "that man is from another planet. He has a magic box. You should listen to him!"

River laughed. "Listen to your son, Mr. Daniels. Give him a chance."

Mr. Daniels pursed his lips and sighed, "Doctor, if I agree to cancel our trip, will you please allow us to treat you to supper?" The Doctor groaned, looking away. Mr. Daniels put up his hands quickly. "Not as a reward, just to show our gratitude. As friends."

The Doctor frowned. With a wry smile, River nudged his shoulder and winked, walking away backwards toward the TARDIS. "Have fun, sweetie! Be back by ten. Mr. Daniels," she pointed, "don't keep him out too late."

"River!" the Doctor stuttered, speechless. "What are you, my mother?"

"Oh, hardly," River raised a suggestive eyebrow as she turned to unlock the TARDIS. "I'm much more exciting than that."

She walked into the TARDIS and turned to peer out the door. Mrs. Daniels took the Doctor's arm and the six of them left the pier. The Doctor glanced back, but he stayed with them. River pressed her lips together and smiled lightly, pleased. He was good now. Safe. Hurting, but not as bad. He would go on, be alright. Find Rose Tyler and live a good life. She knew he had a fantastic future in store.

She'd been a part of it.

But it was time to go. She understood it. She'd done enough to corrupt both their timelines. River strolled into the center of the TARDIS, running her hand along the console. It was beautiful, she realized. The coral wasn't so bad. The TARDIS responded to her touch, humming. Even if the Doctor didn't know her yet, his blue box could sense who she would be.

Hopefully, being there hadn't changed anything.

All the same. It was time to go. River raised her wrist and tapped her fingers quickly across the vortex manipulator. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and pressed down.

Nothing.

No whooshing, pulling feeling, no time-travel-in-a-capsule breathlessness. Nothing at all.

River cracked open her eyelids and glowered down at the vortex manipulator on her arms. She retyped the coordinates and shut her eyes again, stabbing down the button. She expected to be ripped across time and space, to gasp across eons of the universe's history, be torn out and away from the TARDIS. But she didn't move and time didn't shift around her. Nothing happened. River swore under her breath and tried again. This time, the manipulator sparked and crackled. River started and yanked the strap from her wrist. On the grates, it clattered with a jolt, and then fizzled out.

River knelt tenderly to retrieve it. In her hands, the screen went dark, totally dead. She breathed. The TARDIS fell silent as she rose unsteadily to her feet. She swore again, desperately. Her eyes lifted to the TARDIS' roof.

"Paradox."


	4. Chapter 4

River frowned at the man blocking the entrance of the restaurant. His impressive suit reflected his place of work—she knew for sure now just how rich the Daniels family was. He looked her over cynically. "I'm sorry ma'am, but you don't have a reservation… or the proper attire." His eyes noted, with a touch of distaste, her pants and short-sleeved blouse.

River muttered under her breath. She'd already tried arguing with him, but the thing about these types was that when you told them that the entire universe was at stake, they absolutely refused to believe you. From her pocket, she pulled up a slick silver cylinder and opened the lipstick. She popped her lips.

"Sorry about this," she said, pocketing it again. "But a girl's got to do what a girl's got to…" Before she finished, she kissed him. His face registered shock and then his eyes wavered, unfocused. She rushed forward, lunging headlong into the restaurant, shouting at the top of her lungs. More hands grabbed her. Two waiters and a chef dragged her back out of the restaurant.

"Doctor!" she screamed. "Doctor!"

They pulled her out the entrance, kicking and hollering. The chef let her go to check on the other man, snapping his fingers in his face. "What did you do to him?"

"Oh, it'll wear off in an hour or two." River rolled her eyes. The men stared back at her in horror. She lunged forward and the waiters wrenched her arms back. "Does it really have to be this difficult?" Her hand searched through the air for her gun. Missing.

The waiter on the right handed it, plucked straight off her belt, to the chef who was standing on shaky legs. "Don't move alright?" He pointed it at her, hands trembling. "I don't know what this is or where you got it, but it doesn't take a genius to shoot a gun."

River uncurled her fingers and put out her palms like she'd seen her Doctor do a thousand times. "Just calm down. I'm only looking for my friend."

The chef shifted on his feet, a panicky man. Holding a gun. From the future. "Don't try anything, alright? I'm telling you, don't move." His finger tapped nervously against the trigger. River closed her mouth and held her breath. She couldn't afford to lose her cool. Getting shot would only ruin things to a worse degree.

The left waiter sneezed. River started and the gun discharged, a blaze of light and sound bursting into the air. The chef fumbled with it, surprised, and narrowly managed to keep a hold of it. All four of them flinched at the noise. River bit her tongue, praying that he wouldn't fire again, especially not at a target.

"Give her to the police. They'll know what to do," one of the waiters said.

"No, no, no. You can't." River shook her head. "Please. I'm a friend of the Daniels family, please." The chef looked to the other waiter.

"I don't believe her," he said. River's shoulders collapsed.

"Trust me. You can ask them. Tell the Doctor, River needs him." The three men stared at her blankly, almost as empty as the one from the entrance, head full of hallucinations. The chef pursed his lips, relieved to have another option aside from having to shoot her.

"Take her into the pantry," he ordered. Shreds of dignity and command returned to his voice. "I'll make the inquiry. But," he shook the blaster at River, "you'll be jailed within the hour if you're lying."

River sighed as the waiters hauled her around the back and into the kitchen. She dragged her feet along the street to make it harder for them, but on the tile in the kitchen she only slid. They stuffed her with rigid efficacy in the pantry. River collapsed against one wall, breathing in the moist scent of vegetables and cool air. She was going to have one hell of a time convincing the Doctor of what they needed to do without having to give away his future. Without compromising her past.

It was only a few minutes later when voices entered the kitchen and the door to the pantry flew open. The Doctor stepped inside and the door shut again, both of them now in the makeshift prison. He folded his arms across his chest. He stared River down before he opened his mouth to tell her off.

That was one skill he hadn't lost.

"What the hell was that, River?" he demanded. "A chef comes in carrying your blaster gun and interrupts diner? I don't understand. What are you up to?" River glanced down at the floor where she sat cross-legged and back up.

"It's important," she said.

"You could've been killed. He doesn't know how that thing works. Could've accidently fired it at you and then where would we be? I'm not having you die. I can't lose someone else. Oy! Listen to me!"

River had looked away, staring absently at the vegetables on the racks. She felt like a preschooler being lectured by a professor, the situation out of her control. He continued. "I've lost too much already. I don't even know who you are. Just take your vortex manipulator and get out of here."

"Not forgetting that I saved your life today." River stood up and she directed her gaze right at the Doctor.

"Oh, you stupid ape!" he fumed. "You think that makes it okay? Does that excuse everything else you do? You put yourself in harm's way, and for what? For what?"

"That's what I'm trying to tell you, my love." She reached her hands close to his face, tempted to touch him, and then threw them down in frustration. "I can't go back. My manipulator broke down on me and the TARDIS hardly let me out the doors, much less let me fly her. We're a paradox. You don't know me yet."

The Doctor's eyes narrowed. He uncrossed his arms. "You keep saying that. What does it mean?"

"You meet me in the future, but it's more than that. We meet in the wrong order—your future is my past. Everything is changing. And maybe it doesn't affect you, but now, it's happened for me twice, in two different ways. It's my past, and for all I know, my future too. It's a paradox. The kind that could end the entire universe."

"When do we meet?"

"I can't—" River began.

The Doctor interrupted her. "When, River?"

River spun on her heel in frustration. "Okay, you want to know? You regenerate twice before I see you again."

"Twice?" The Doctor's mouth fell open. "When? How?"

"I can't tell you!" River snapped angrily. She took a deep breath to calm down before she did any damage. "Please. I just need your help. We have to fix this."

The Doctor shook his head. "I don't even know your name," he said, looking away from her. "I don't know anything about you. I can't trust you."

"You don't have to—"

Suddenly, his voice rose to a booming volume. "_Everyone I knew died today_!" He slammed the pantry shelves with an open hand. The wall rattled. His tone dropped to a deadly whisper and he stepped forward to stare into the heart of River. "So who the hell do you think you are to tell me what I need to do?"

River bit her lip to keep her chin from trembling. It didn't work. She moved back with a shaky step. Her eyes dropped to the ground where tomatoes knocked from the shelving were rolling. She couldn't handle this, she realized. She'd jumped right in without looking where she might land, and now—

Leaning against the door, the Doctor buried his face in his hands.

Now, she had this. He was so emotional. So broken. And River had thought she was doing good. Bless Rose Tyler. River didn't know how she'd dealt with it. Every time _she_ tried anything, he was hurting more than before. A big, giant, mess. To her surprise, not even an earth-shattering paradox would change his mind.

"Regardless," she murmured, wrapping her hand around his arm, "I can't stay." She sniffed, regaining her composure and drew his hands gently away from his face. It couldn't hurt to touch him, she assumed. Things were bad enough already that nothing could make it worse. His eyes shifted up, shimmering. River felt her face soften, remembering how much she cared about him.

"I might know a man who could help… _us_," the Doctor muttered. His tongue rolled over the pronoun with uncertain distrust.

River released his wrists and walked backward, avoiding the tomatoes on the floor, to give him space. "Where is that, my love?"

He sighed miserably and straightened out of the corner. "On the island of Krakatoa. But it's a long shot." He scrubbed his cheeks. The door opened when he knocked on it and he glanced over his shoulder. "But I suppose it's worth a try." He hobbled out of the pantry.

River's shoulders slumped as she watched him go. "My name," she whispered before she followed, "my name is River Song."


	5. Chapter 5

The cloister bell kicked River in the stomach, adding insult to injury. It was faint as the Doctor struggled with the TARDIS door, almost overtaken by the sound of waves against the pier. She looked over her shoulder and noticed the Titanic for the first time, struck by its size. And soon, it would be at the bottom of the ocean.

Of course, that was granted that the universe stayed intact for that long. She sighed, deep and heavy, homesickness weighing down on her heart. She realized that she didn't know who she was with anymore.

The Doctor patted the side of the TARDIS and glanced upwards. He tried the key again, digging it into the slot and twisting the cold metal with an effort. "Come on, old girl. Let's have it." The box groaned, distressed, overshadowing the cloister bell. He hushed her and rested his forearm on the sign. The door creaked open.

As soon as the Doctor pulled on the string looped through the key and stepped inside, the door banged shut. River pulled her hands away, her fingers narrowly missing being crushed. She pounded on the door. "What the hell?" The TARDIS lurched and rumbled.

The Doctor shouted back, "Just hold on a minute. She's being stubborn. She wants to take off."

"Fantastic." River wrapped her fingers around the door latch. She'd hold on if she had to. An old story the Doctor had told her about an ex-time agent came to mind.

"And that means?" The Doctor's voice was distracted, strained. The TARDIS started to buzz, the deep hum meaning she was bent on leaving. River clutched the door a little tighter, hands white.

A sharp clamor blasted behind her. Her whole body shook when the wave of noise hit her. River closed her eyes against the impact. The roaring tore, cut at her eardrums. The air thickened, made it harder to move. River pried open her eyes and torturously rotated her head over her shoulder. An impossibly bright light flashed into existence, the wind tearing into it, consuming. "Any time, Doctor," she shouted. She knew bad when she saw it.

"Give me a minute," the Doctor gritted out. The blue box faded in and out… and in… "You have to let go. The TARDIS won't stabilize with you holding on. Let go."

The wind clawed backwards. Into the light. River felt it dragging her, pulling, wrenching. Her grip on the TARDIS was the only thing left. Stuck in 1912. If he was trying to get rid of her like this… "Don't you dare leave me," River yelled. Cold panic fluttered higher in her chest, freezing her lungs. "You can't, Doctor!"

"I'm not trying!" he cried back. It had to be the paradox. Ripping apart all of reality around them. "But you need to let go."

Fading in and out…

…and in.

The TARDIS was going to dematerialize. No choice. "What if you don't come back for me?" she demanded. The light was expanding. Bursting. The fabric of the universe was crumbling. The wind blasted around the box, through River's hair, like bullets. She heard herself ask again. "You don't even know me. What if you don't come back? Why would you?"

The TARDIS shuddered with a sickening moan.

"River, trust me!"

Those words stopped her. The storm faded to a dull roar in the background. "What?" she half-whispered, half-shouted.

"Trust me," the Doctor repeated softly. His northern accent changed the sound, but they were the same words. River closed her eyes and pictured a young man with ancient eyes and a bowtie, and swallowed.

"With my life," she murmured. And she unwrapped her hands from the TARDIS.

* * *

><p>The wind grabbed her. River plunged backwards, suspended for a moment in the air, and then the wind jerked her down. She smacked against the rough of the ground. Stones and dirt jabbed sharply against her skin. The earth rumbled, paving stones skittering out of place. The storm scraped her along the street. She pulled her head up just in time to see the blue box vanish.<p>

Gone.

Suddenly, like a puppet, she was yanked up again, stumbling, lurching, sprawling back. River fought the tug of the wind, the burning light, the ending of everything. The air sliced around her, thinner and thinner. She lost the ground beneath her feet. The road dissolved. Noise crashed in deafening waves. The world rushed past and River struggled for breath. She kept hoping. _Wait for the Doctor_. She thought she heard rush of air above the din of the whirlwind. The light was close. River could feel the heat scorching her back, her sides; roasting her hands and feet.

_Wait for the Doctor_.

She wasn't sure anymore what direction she was facing; space was distorting around her. Up, back, forward, down. The ground had gone and now the clouds and the star were burning and dying… And yet River imagined the wheezing of brakes…

The TARDIS materialized behind her, door open. She fell, gravity shifted, and then the Doctor's arms were tight around her waist. Both of them tumbled to the floor. She took a gasping breath and exhaled deeply. The TARDIS door slammed shut.

The Doctor helped River to her feet and she leaned heavily against the console, still catching her breath. "That was some _fantastic_ maneuvering," he commented as he spun around the TARDIS, pressing buttons and pulling levers. "Have to say. Coordinates spot on."

"Took you long enough." River smiled disapprovingly.

"Oy, River Song! You're alive, aren't you? It's a pretty good day, I'd say."

"Except for the whole paradox part." River shrugged, but underneath she studied the Doctor. She checked her belt and realized something was missing. A small, blue bound something.

"I fixed it temporarily. 1912 is no longer imploding. You're welcome." He plopped down on the tan seat and folded his arms across his chest, propping a foot against the console. River shot him a look that plainly asked _how_. "A complicated temporal trick I learned back in the Academy. You wouldn't understand what, but it's in stasis now, so we're fine."

"So you stopped time?" River pursed her lips.

"Slowed it extremely, but basically yes. It'll keep the wound from spreading, infecting other parts of time." He looked at her. "At least for now."

"Will it hold—" she started to ask.

"Yes," he replied.

"No, will it hold after you've made it worse?" His eyebrows furrowed. She took a sharp breath and slammed down her hands on either side of the Doctor. "I never told you my name, Doctor. And you called me River Song. So before this gets very dangerous, I want to know what you did with my diary."

"Your diary?" The Doctor stood up slowly, forcing River back.

"Yes, the little blue book. How much of it did you read?" River refused to budge any more as the Doctor tried to step around her. She crossed her arms defensively. She could smack him. She could. And he would deserve it. He looked down. River continued, "How could you? You know that's your own future."

"I only read the latest entry." He didn't meet her eyes.

"The crash of the Byzantium?" The Doctor nodded slowly. River flushed red and tried to keep her temper. "You aren't supposed to read it. It's the rule. Our rule." Her shoulders slumped. The Doctor walked past her and pulled a lever.

"So, Weeping Angels?"

"Don't even start," River growled. She spun in a circle, stamping her foot in frustration, and she rubbed her eyes. He muttered an apology and they both stood there silently. Finally, she glanced up and sighed. "I shouldn't have snapped at you."

The Doctor shook his head. "No. It's my fault. I just…" he trailed off, staring at his feet.

"Wanted to believe you had a future?" River met the Time Lord's eyes briefly and he gave the slightest of nods. She wet her lips quietly. The Doctor flicked a switch and pulled around the monitor, sprawling lines and lines of Gallifreyian.

"So, Krakatoa." River tried not to notice what the words on the screen were saying, but she saw the makeshift obituary scroll by all the same. "Let's get this all sorted."


	6. Chapter 6

The TARDIS shuddered as it landed. The Doctor tossed River her diary as he emerged from the wardrobe, now looking like he should in leather jacket and jumper. All put together. _You're welcome_, a childish voice in the back of her mind muttered. He didn't meet her eyes but pulled down a lever and the entire box shook. He put out an arm, motioning to the door.

River raised an eyebrow and walked forward. The Doctor was being quiet. He hadn't said a word since she'd mentioned Krakatoa, and even for this strange version of him, that was wrong. It made her uneasy. She paused at the door and looked back—the Doctor folded his arms crossly, watching her. Undoing the latch, River stepped out.

And instead of an island, she hit the solid, marble floor of a wide hall. One she knew well. The ceilings arched over her. The hundreds of students with books loaded in their arms bustled past her without ever noticing the odd blue box that rested in the middle of the room. River pressed her tongue against her cheek and oriented herself. Everything was exactly as she had last seen it. The Doctor had put her back exactly in her own timeline.

"What are you doing?" River demanded through the open door. She pulled herself back into the doorway. "What about Krakatoa?" The Doctor looked up at her, lips pursed. Her eyebrows furrowed. "This is Luna University, Doctor. I don't understand."

"Isn't this the right place?" he asked. River opened her mouth to protest, but the Doctor shook his head. She hesitated. "I'm going," he continued, "to Krakatoa, I mean. I'll meet with that man and see what we can do. I'll find you again when I've worked it out." Quizzically, River looked at him.

"But—"

"It'll be a quick trip. I'll figure things out, come back, and we'll fix things up. River, you _know_ every minute you spend with me, the paradox gets worse. The whole entire universe is busting at the seams, and I'm barely keeping it together as it is. You can't come. I'm sorry. Get out of the TARDIS." The Doctor didn't move from his spot by the console. His face was set. But River felt her heart plummet from her chest and shatter on the ground. She grabbed the railing and wrapped her fingers tightly around it.

"I can't," she replied simply. "You don't understand." The Doctor arched an eyebrow at her and River shook her head. "You don't know who I am, Doctor. And if that's so… if that's true... that means, paradox or no, this is the first time you meet me. And the last time I see you." His expression darkened a shade. River swallowed the quiet desperation crawling, slimy, up the back of her throat. "I can't… I just can't…."

_It's not fair_, she wanted to scream. Pressure built behind her eyes, hard and longing. She told herself she wouldn't cry. Not even for this man.

"What is it you want then?" the Doctor asked. Gripping a lever, his knuckles turned white. River could see him trying to swallow his temper. "You want me to put you into danger? Or the universe? Time and space?"

"No, it's just… if this is the last time I see you, I want every minute with you I can have. I don't even care if you know me anymore; I only want to have every single one of my last moments, Doctor. It's the end for me. And all of those days we had together, those are all ahead for you, but for me… I never get one of those days again. One of those days where you look at me and you know me, you trust me completely. It's your eyes. Even the last time I saw you—"

"The Byzantium?"

River nodded. "You barely trusted me at all. But in those days… we ran, Doctor. You should have seen us. You _will_ see us. Through planets and moons and cascades of star across the cosmos, through fields of grass and sun and mountains, waterfalls; soaring all over space and time, all those futures and histories and all those beautiful, terrible, incredible places… we ran. Oh, god, did we run. You and me. And now," River looked down, dreamy smile fading, unable to meet his eyes, "I never will have those days again. It kills me."

The bustle of the University buzzed around the blue box. Students raced by with bags and books as the bell signaling the start of the day's classes rang. Light from the multiple suns slanted in through the high windows. Back home, in a sense. Or at least it was now, since she'd achieved a pardon at the Byzantium. River took a deep breath. That was a life she couldn't go back to. It had been so hard without him and it never got any easier. He didn't even look at her without the angry distrust burning across his face. That look, that singular look, shattered her soul. Shards piercing her heart. River felt like she might crumble to dust. She blinked away the blurry hotness welling in her eyes and held a deep breath.

"So, please," she murmured at last. "Let me come with you."

The Doctor only stared at her. She wondered if she didn't see a flash of painful sympathy flit through his eyes. "I'm sorry," was the reply. River looked up. He continued, gently, trying to make the words kind, "Get out."

River's arms tensed. She tightened her grip on the railings. "I can't leave you, my love."

"You saved me. Thank you. Because you're right. I needed someone. But River, I'm fine now. And it's time I solved this problem so we can continue on our ways." The Doctor folded his arms. "Go."

River glared at him and bit her lip. "No." His shoulders slumped and his leather jacket hung around his frame. He shook his head and turned, walking around the center of the TARDIS. He stopped, like an afterthought, and looked curiously at River, facing her.

"One last question, River," he said. "Do you love me?"

That question caught River off-guard. Her eyes widened. She looked at him, caught between confusion and urgency. "What?" she mumbled aloud. But in her mind, her thoughts were zipping by, screaming at hundreds of miles an hour. _Not yet, _part of her argued, taking in his too-young eyes, his nose, his clothes.

_Always_, the rest of her breathed.

In the end, she didn't say anything to him. Her eyes softened and met his. No words came to her tongue. But his eyes understood everything. "I'm sorry, but you can't stay." He stepped forward and River froze. Her eyebrows lowered suspiciously. The Doctor strode forward, close to her and gripped her shoulders with his strong hands. He pushed her back, but River wouldn't budge. She tried to move forward. The Doctor rocked forward, pulling her toward the door. She scraped her feet along the floor. "I won't leave you!" she exclaimed. She wasn't about to let him force her out.

Then, in one swift movement, his hands slipped down to her arms, he tilted his head, closed his eyes, and he kissed her. A shock wound up from the base of her spine as his lips reached hers. She simultaneously relaxed and tensed. Her eyes closed as her fingers uncurled with want, and fluttered open again with surprise. He held her, hands lacing around her back… and… and…

All of the sudden, her thoughts weren't working, her heart was pounding, and she was starting to melt… but he wasn't her Doctor… and she didn't care. His arms were around her and all her defenses puddled to the unexpected. Her stomach curled and flipped, butterflies pushed around inside her. Her blood started to race, to dash…. She could feel warmth rising in her chest… Her hands lifted and fell… It couldn't be wrong if he was the same man….

The Doctor stepped forward, leaning into the kiss, taking a breath but never leaving her. River stumbled back in response. And in that instant, her hands free, he shoved her out the door and broke away. River gaped as she realized; the Doctor slammed shut the doors with a sharp thud. He was using her. _He hadn't meant anything._

The blue box disappeared.

River numbly fell to her knees in the empty hall. The University echoed with the sound of the TARDIS. She stared at nothing, head catching up with what just happened. She sat back on her ankles and took a heavy breath, shaking her head.

"I hate that man," she said to herself.


	7. Chapter 7

**I still don't own Doctor Who. I won't even pretend so. And lots of thanks to those of you reading & reviewing~**

* * *

><p>"So, Mr. Lux," River said, straightening her stack of papers and sitting down across from the older, balding man in the dim conference room. "How are we today?" She set down her diary next to the papers. Her gaze lingered on it a little too long and she consciously tugged at her bottom lip.<p>

Mr. Lux cleared his throat uncomfortably and laced his fingers on the table in front of him. The glasses in the center rattled softly. River's eyes caught every single movement. She'd taken him by surprise, and it didn't need someone skilled in analysis to see that. It'd been a week now, a whole one since the Doctor had dropped her here, and two days since she'd given up and called Mr. Lux to get some business done. She felt herself getting more nervous with each hour; she forced herself to stop tapping on the table and hold her composure. She was going to fidget herself to death.

"To be honest, Dr. Song, I wasn't expecting you to get back to me so quickly. Your friend…. He sounded hard to track down."

River pressed her lips into a pleasant smile, though it was far from her eyes. "Yes, well, I had a bit of trouble. I didn't _exactly_ find the Doctor." She paused, thinking about that man. If he had gone and blown himself up on Krakatoa, she would have his head. Hopefully he had enough sense not to go during an erruption. "But that's no matter. We can manage without him, Mr. Lux, and besides, maybe if I send him a message, he'll meet us there." She flashed him another reassuring smile, though it was completely false.

The polished table seemed to stretch on between them. In the dark room, claustrophobia suddenly knelt in on River and she stood up, opening the blinds and flooding the room with sunlight. Mr. Lux cleared his throat again, now shilouetted by the suns, shifting in his chair and changed the order of his fingers clasped together. River turned away from the window. On the table, the glasses shook slightly. She raised an eyebrow at Lux's back. He was more than surprised, he was nervous. Afraid of her. She took her seat again in the small conference room and watched the light bounce up off the shiny table, waiting for Lux to speak.

"About the Doctor…" River met his gaze squarely. "And it's not that I don't trust you, Dr. Song, but my specialists did some research, and they were concerned about your, erm… you _background_, shall we say."

Oh, so there it was. Her '_background_'. River softened her face and leaned forward with her palms up on the table. "Mr. Lux, trust me. I did receive a pardon, you know. And the circumstances surrounding the Doctor were… not exactly as you imagine them."

Lux nodded rapidly, "I know, I know. But it's my specialists who are worried. You remember of course, Miss Evangelista and the pilot, Dave Carver. They have no issues about working with you. I'm only trying to assuage the fears of the people on the expedition. The fact remains, non-negotiable, that you were indeed in prison, and not just any prison. For a murder, no less. Their words, not mine, but they believe you're dangerous."

River laughed shortly. She rested her chin in her palm, unable to avoid tracing her lips with a finger. The Doctor had kissed her. She kept telling herself that it didn't mean anything—he'd been trying to get rid of her. But that was extremely difficult task.

"If they have problems working with me, I know some people brilliant in their fields at the University. Anita Montoya and Dave Wilson. Probably better at what they do than your 'specialists'." Shock crossed Lux's face. He swallowed, evidently about to defend the specialists he'd spent unnecessary amounts of money on while she suggested that two university students could do a better job. The glasses on the table shook and River glared down them. They were starting to rumble, or rather the whole room was. The windows started to vibrate. River raised her head, eyes narrowing.

Lux stood up and slammed his fist against the table. "Are you suggesting that I drop the specialists that have been training for this expedition for _months_…"

The table shuddered and the room quaked seismically, rocking. The glasses clinked like bullet fire. The diary flipped open and River's eyes narrowed at the note scribbled in the pages, reading the unfamiliar scrawl. "Respectfully, Mr. Lux, I'm going to ask you to _shut up now!_"

The door slammed open. Both River and Lux shot around. Anita stood there, thoroughly looking shocked. "Dr. Song, we're getting some really strange temporal readings downstairs. 1883. What's going on?"

"And you expect me to trust you, when you won't even sign my intellectual property agreements?" Mr. Lux's face reddened. River stared down at the diary, not believing it.

"Will you just shut up?" River smacked her hands on the table. The note made no sense. The glasses were clattering together, the building swaying, the room bucking.

"What the hell is going on here?"

"Dave sent me up; we're all in the eights and nines down there. Dr. Song, what's going on?" Anita and Lux were clamoring over each other, voices raising, shouting, and River was yelling for them both to be quiet. The windows wavered, oscillated, straining in their frames. The Doctor had written her a message. And now he was getting himself killed.

"What happens in 1883?" Anita called over the rumble. "Dr. Song, what's changing time?"

"You want me to have grad students doing my work? My life's work? It's taken three generations, one hundred years, I'll have you know, and—" Lux fumed. The glasses on the table shattered with a burst of glass spraying everywhere. River dove forward to push Lux down.

"Away from the windows!"

Anita's eyes widened and she hit the ground just as the windows burst under the pressure. River covered her neck. Lux fell against the floor in a shower of glass. Pinpricks of pain echoed through River's skin with the thousand tiny cuts raining down on them. She pressed her eyes shut.

"What's going on here?" Lux bellowed.

"You really need to see this," Anita replied, pulling herself off the floor. River forced herself to her feet, shut the diary with trembling hands, and nodded to Anita.

"Okay, let's go." She looked with raised eyebrows on the mess in the conference room and muttered, "I swear I'll kill that man." Lux sat up with a groan, brushing glass shards off his clothing. He looked at River furiously.

"You leave this room now, Dr. Song, and our deal will be off. The most monumental expedition in history and you'll miss it. Don't you leave. Why would you sabotage the best opportunity you ever had?"

River shook her head, following Anita out the door. "Because, Mr. Lux," she replied. "Frankly, I don't like you."

She stormed out and down the halls, sweeping down the grand university staircases. Anita struggled to keep up with River's long strides down to the laboratory. The two women turned a corner and Anita asked again what was happening. "I don't understand, Dr. Song. What's changing? What's so important about 1883?"

River shook her head and didn't meet Anita's eyes. "If I'm right, and I know I'm right, it's the year Krakatoa exploded. What was the month?"

Anita shrugged. "August, I think."

"He did it right down to the day, no doubt. Oh, I'm going to kill that man if he isn't already! Stone dead!" River marched into the lab and Dave spun around, gesturing at the screen.

"Have you seen these?" he cried incredulously. "Eights and nines. We're headed for total temporal meltdown!" The alarms on the computers were blaring sharply. "If I didn't know better, I'd say… paradox." _And what says it isn't?_ River thought in reply. "Shockwaves all the way into the present, probably beyond. It's huge."

"Who do you keep talking about?" Anita asked. She flipped some switches on her computer.

"A very good man is doing something very, very stupid." River peered at the graphs, clutching the side of a desk. The rumbling had quieted slightly, but the building was still rocking, like a ship on the ocean. Anita pulled up a different set of graphs and pointed to them in confusion.

"And there's _nothing_ at all for 1912. I mean, what's that? What do we do?"

River barked a bitter laugh. Things were going from bad to worse. The note was running through her head. Her students stared at her, waiting on answers. River rubbed her eyes. "Um… put out a notice to all time travelers that 1883 and anywhere around then is off limits, no excuses. No one is to enter into that time zone, and put it under archeological preservation. If nothing else it'll hold the conditions already there stable enough to keep things from getting worse. Other than that… nothing we can do." River wrapped her fingers around the diary and unhooked her blaster from her belt. "Call me if the readings hit ten. Whenever, day or night, understand? Keep an eye on it. We can't let that happen."

"Where are you going?" Dave asked.

"Oh, I've got a date I can't miss," River muttered, hooking a finger through her blaster and in between the pages where the note was in her diary. She rolled her eyes at Anita. "It's always a man, isn't it?"

Anita blinked, and for a spilt second flickered over at Dave. River smiled. She'd had her suspicions. She headed for the door, trying to keep her balance with the building shaking in violent waves. "Anyway," she said, "I have to go save the world."


	8. Chapter 8

The wind whipped River's hair around. She kept pushing her curls out of her eyes, sweeping them away from her face. She felt ridiculous, huddled in her white fleece coat, standing on the top of the administration building of Luna University. She didn't even know what she was waiting on. It had better be worth it though, whatever it was, because she'd had to break into the offices in the middle of the day and disarm the alarm system to the roof… far too much work as far as she was concerned.

"Come on, Doctor," she muttered, "what's going on here?" She walked to the edge of the roof and pounded her palms on the wall. Her feet scraped at the pebbles on the roof. Suddenly, she froze. Someone was behind her. She could feel it. It was a man, she could tell by the sound of the step crunching on the gravel. Was it the Doctor? Did she dare hope?

"Ah, you're actually here." A voice, oddly familiar drawled out, amused, in an American accent. River looked down, calculating, and turned ever so slowly. Her eyes flicked up to the sky, to the north, where clouds were gathering. A storm was coming.

He was in a long gray coat, dark eyes watching the sky like hers. His short black hair was only vaguely tickled by the wind while hers whipped around. And he smiled at her, utterly, endlessly charming. "Oh my…" she murmured. Her mouth dropped open. She knew him.

Oh, god, she knew him.

"Captain Jack Harkness," he said, teeth glinting, holding out his hand. "_He-llo_."

River found her hand couldn't move from where she'd placed it on her gun. She consciously forced herself to stop gaping. "Ri—Mels. Mels Pond." The old name rolled off her tongue without effort. She smiled indulgently, not risking her real name. Life was getting far too complicated to be rewarded with honestly. He looked her up and down, applying the name to a face. Although he didn't have the decency to pretend that he was looking at her face the whole time.

"Well, Ms. Pond, it's a pleasure." His eyebrows rose, eyes lighting up. River analyzed him without moving. It was early days for him, still a Time Agent, if she was guessing correctly, though then again, maybe the not-so-honest days. The wind played with his coat in swirling gusts. River wrapped her arms across her chest. "I wasn't sure you would actually be here. But, here you are, and may I say, you look gorgeous."

"You don't look so bad either," she winked. He was much younger than she was expecting. Oh, her Doctor would be glaring. "But don't get ahead of yourself, Captain."

"And why not?" He was brushing a lock of her hair out away from her face, hitting the curve of her chin and cheek with the back of his fingers.

"You should know I'm married." Well, sort of. She wasn't sure if it counted.

Jack's face changed, not quite disappointed. He opened his mouth to make a clever remark on her relationship status, but she shot him a glare that shut him up just as fast. "So… the purchase, then. Your message was so cryptic I didn't know what kind of deal you were looking at."

"Message?" She clutched her diary at her belt; her finger slipped to mark the page where her note was written. "Let me guess. Date, time, place. Nothing more." Two of them, cryptic. River didn't understand.

"You mean you didn't send it." All charm dropped off of his face and the flirting note disappeared from his voice. "Am I being set up here?" Jack's face grew drawn. Lines creased the corners of his mouth.

"Why would someone set you up?" The wind turned cold. River slanted her head to let her curls blow away from her face. Jack hesitated, opening his mouth with hidden anxiety.

"Let's just say," he began, "that the Agency and I have had our problems." They lapsed into silence except for a sudden streak of lightning's snap. The Doctor couldn't have left the note, she realized. He didn't know Jack yet. Shock very nearly floored her. Something brought them together.

"Captain, what exactly did you come here to sell me?" Suspicion started as a cotton lump in her throat. She lifted an eyebrow.

Jack raised his hands and spread his fingers defensively. "Now listen here, this is strictly off Agency records, alright?" He stuck his hand into his pocket and drew out a little, silver, bracelet sized box. He lifted the lid quietly.

River swore under her breath. Jack lifted his eyes and watched her react. She scooped the vortex manipulator out of the box, brows furrowing. "Don't touch the merchandise," he snapped. But it was exactly what she needed. Against her will, her face broke out into a relieved smile. She secured it around her wrist, shaking it to make sure it would stay in place. "Hey!" Jack protested. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Jack," she rolled her eyes, "you wouldn't believe me if I told you. But trust me, in the future, you'll be very glad I took it." Jack reached for the vortex manipulator, but River yanked back. She pulled up her hair into a ponytail. "I _despise_ capsule time-travel."

"Mels Pond, you _will_ pay me for that —"

"Tell the Agency you lost it. No one will mind." He grabbed her wrist and she shoved him away, flipping up the panel. She had to guess the date. August 1883, but the day… Krakatoa erupting could be the only thing stranding the Doctor. She was willing to bet.

Jack lunged again to regain his property; River backed up and jolted when she hit the roof's walled edge. Her hands went out to brace herself. Jack reached forward and she swung her arm across her body to press down the vortex manipulator's command. The clouds broke and spilled at last, starting a downpour. River felt a tug through time, a sudden roar pull her back, and a rush of skin wrap around her wrist. She almost screamed.

And then they were gone.

* * *

><p>A brick wall. River crashed straight into it, her forearms taking most of the impact. She groaned and stumbled back, rubbing her now-bruised appendages and feeling suddenly dizzy. That was, of course, until she realized it was the ground was the thing wobbling, not her. Bucking, slamming, shaking. "Not again," she muttered with annoyance.<p>

"What?" replied the voice behind her. She clutched at the bricks in the wall that were beginning to break from the mold from the sheer rocking of the earth below and she turned around. Jack pulled himself laboriously from the ground. River glared daggers at him.

"What the hell was that?" River spat.

Jack clutched at his ribcage, gasping and struggling to keep his balance. "Protecting the merchandise," he replied breathily.

"Oh, yeah," she nodded venomously. She strode forward and slapped him across the face.

Jack recoiled, hand pressed to his cheek. "What…?"

"Rubbish. That was a completely rubbish device and you know it." River had to raise her voice to hear herself over the rumble of the mountain. "It doesn't work properly. Where'd you steal it? You could have killed us both!" Jack started to protest, but River pushed him backwards. He stumbled and drew a pistol. Underneath them, the ground writhed like a tortured beast.

River pulled her blaster off her belt. "You don't want to do that to a friend. Besides, I'm a pretty good shot." Jack's eye twitched, saying: _try me_. The entire island shuddered like a roller coaster coming to a sudden stop. River lost her balance; Jack planted his feet and caught her with his free arm. He tried to undo the strap to the vortex manipulator but it slipped from his shaking fingers and smashed on the ground. She swatted him off, gaping and he pointed the pistol at her heart. _There goes the escape route_.

"The entire universe is in jeopardy right now—" And she stopped. Looked up in comprehension. He lowered his gun, eyes narrowing and followed her gaze. "Krakatoa…"she murmured, remembering. It was erupting. Seismic waves rolled through the ground. Rock and volcanic ash shrouded the top of the mountain, spewing randomly across the landscape in violent heaves. Rapidly building, a pyroclastic cloud approached spilling point, looming. The noise was deafening. The entire volcano, the island, the world, was _exploding_. And the Doctor was still somewhere in the middle of it.

"Volcano day," Jack whispered. His eyes widened.

She needed to save the Doctor. And she needed to stay alive long enough to do that. That was the objective. The _only _objective. River holstered her gun. She glanced around, finally taking in her surroundings enough to understand that she and Jack had crash-landed in a walled garden. Leaning against the bricks to keep oriented, she staggered to the little black gate. The plants underfoot were already smoldering. "Jack, I need your help."

He clicked the safety back in place and pocketed it. He looked at the vortex manipulator on the ground. "I guess I don't have much of a choice, do I?" he shouted.

River shook her head and brushed dust and ash out of her hair. "Not really," she called back. He nodded at last and together they pushed open the half-buried gate.

"So what are we doing here anyway?" Captain Jack covered his mouth with his coat sleeve, coughing on the dust.

"The Doctor." She said it like an explanation. They stumbled out of the garden, Jack holding himself up on the bricks and River supporting herself on his shoulder. The roar blocking her ears and the seesaw motion of the ground made her nauseous. The gases and minerals in the air thickened; it was becoming harder and harder to see and harder and harder to breathe. They turned a corner, and down on the beach, the hazy shape of a little house sat, collapsing in on itself. River covered her own mouth, taking a shaky breath. "And I think I know where to find him."


	9. Chapter 9

"Doctor?"

River leaned up against the wall of the house, coughing. She slipped onto the ground as her legs gave out. Jack pulled himself up through the window after her and dropped onto the wooden floor. She pressed her eyes shut and licked her lips, only tasting ashes dry against her tongue. She was starting to wonder if they would even make it out, much less with the Doctor in tow. Jack fished a white square out of his pocket and handed it to her. The texture was somewhere between cotton and plastic. He produced a second one, holding it over his mouth.

"Air scrub," he explained briefly. "This isn't at all what they're made for, but I thought it wouldn't hurt." River nodded gratefully and pressed the scrub to her mouth, inhaling a deep, filtered breath. She watched as dust clung quickly to Jack's and sniffed. They wouldn't last long enough to keep the air clean; a few breaths and the ivory surface was already turning pale gray. She folded hers and slid it into her pocket, determined to save it for the Doctor. Jack looked at her sideways.

"You really care about him, don't you?" he asked loudly. His voice sounded like a whisper next to the boom of the mountain.

"You have no idea." She gave a faltering and exhausted smile. The trek to the house had been far longer and harder than she'd anticipated. Every step might bring the island to splitting apart, every inch of rock and cinders that fell made it harder to move. River had watched the disappearing head of the volcano with anxiety. If the pyroclastic flow started toward them, it would be over. The barrage would bury them without question. A new Pompeii.

Jack lowered his air scrub to cough violently. He clutched at the wall and pulled River onto her feet. "Then let's find him." Farther into the house, the timber creaked and moaned, the supports quaked and quivered. Farther into the house, the ceiling sagged and cracked. River held her breath despite herself.

"We have to move faster." River shook. Jack peered out a window as she struggled forward. "Doctor!" she yelled. "Doctor!"

"River?" Far away, distant and dusty, River was sure she heard her name, almost too quiet to notice. The ceiling above her creaked.

"Doctor!" It was his voice! She knew—

"Mels!" Jack pulled in from the window. Her head whipped around. Before she knew it, he tackled her and they were both recoiling on the ground. A pile of debris tumbled where she'd been moments ago.

"I owe you one," she breathed.

"With the vortex manipulator? Make that two." River hardly heard him. In the same instant she was on her feet again, sprinting toward the sound of the Doctor's voice. Her breath came in shudders.

"Doctor, keep calling." River gasped. His voice grew louder, but it sounded broken. Her name came out in parts.

"Ri-ver—" Jack ran behind her. The house convulsed. River turned a sharp corner and emerged into a crumbling Roman courtyard. The stones that paved it were scattered, thrust through walls. She saw the TARDIS first, doors wide open and wheezing painfully.

"Ri-ver," the Doctor rasped the same way. Relief swelled in her chest and she turned. And broke. Her heart hit the ground.

She ran and dropped to her knees. A column had broken from the corner of the square. It lay across the Doctor, covered in rubble from the roof, crushing his limp form and pinning him to the ground. His breathing was shallow. The weight was shattering his ribs, his lungs, his chest.

"No," she murmured. "No, you can't." She come all this way, she thought she was too late, and now… and now, this. They both looked down as he flexed his fingers. They started to glow gold.

"You're a little late for that," he whispered. River's lips trembled and she bit the bottom one. "Not much good it'll do me anyway, stuck under here."

"Don't you dare." The Doctor coughed weakly. River clenched her teeth. "We're going to get you out. Jack, come here." The Time Agent was standing in the middle of the courtyard, staring up at the volcano. "Jack!" she shouted, and realized her voice was too loud.

The noise had stopped. The shaking, too. It was like the world had suddenly frozen, and she hadn't even noticed. "What…?"

Jack pointed up, silent. River climbed to her feet and followed the arc of his arm. Where there had once been a pyroclastic cloud and a volcano burning across the sky was now a soundless spill of white light pouring downward. Her lips parted.

"What is it?" Jack asked. His voice was the only noise.

"I think…" River gulped, not wanting to say it, "I think it's temporal energy. If it reaches us…we never existed." Jack's brow furrowed. River looked over her shoulder at the Doctor. He was fighting it, but regeneration was creeping on. "So we should move." She ordered Jack to start clearing bricks off the Doctor. She knelt down and brushed off his leather jacket. Half tempted to brush her lips on his ever-wrinkled forehead, she leaned forward, and caution got the better of her. "Just hang on. We'll get you into the TARDIS." She kept an eye on the light from Krakatoa, and glimpsed the Doctor mournfully shaking his head. He closed his eyes.

"She's gone."

River's eyes widened. "What do you mean? Doctor, what do you mean?" He didn't respond. But he didn't have to; his face grew grave. "Jack," she said urgently, "work faster."

River stumbled backward, onto her feet and practically fell into the TARDIS. Her heart was beating desperate against her chest, frantic in her ears. The TARDIS whined in protest as she pulled open the door. Cannibalized. The guts of the TARDIS trailed the floor, hooked across a grid around the matrix. Wires were everywhere. The grates, all open, were flung everywhere. The TARDIS didn't just wheeze, she cried…she screamed. River pressed her hands to her mouth to hold back a gag, and fled. She felt sick. Inside her head, she could feel the TARDIS shrieking, white blinding agony and _wrongness_. She thought her knees might give out, but the side of the box kept her upright. She took a deep breath and pressed her hands to her ears, forcing the pain to subside. A step forward. Compartmentalize. She separated the part of her mind feeling the TARDIS from the rest of her thoughts.

"_You made a paradox machine_?"

Jack's head flew up. "A _what_?" He'd cleared off the bricks and rubble, leaving the column as the only thing crushing the Doctor. River had a sinking feeling that even if they could get it off, it would be too late.

"A paradox _reversal_ machine," the Doctor replied softly. The glow around his hands was brightening. "It's never been done before, but…but we thought that maybe…."

"That man you knew?"

"He was an engineer who specialized in temporal mechanics." The Doctor's voice caught on the past tense. "But Krakatoa erupted… he and his wife, they…" He swallowed heavily. "We didn't quite finish."

"You had better been close," Jack said. He nodded toward the volcano. The temporal energy was approaching the house and speeding up.

"We have to go _now_," River ordered. "Help me, Jack." She braced her hands against the column crushing the Doctor and shoved. It didn't budge at all. "Jack!" she half-screamed. He shook his head.

"No way we'll get it. Time to run, if you ask me."

River pressed her lips into a determined line. "You don't know him. We have to save him." She could feel the heat of the light spilling over them, burning, erasing. "We have to—" She pushed, digging her heels into the ash and pausing to rub her eyes, whether from tears or soot, she didn't know. "We have to save—" She heaved with all her might, but no movement resulted. She pushed and pounded and punched through the blur ruining her vision until she was forced to lean back against another column, panting hard. The heat from the light was harsh, sharp, cutting into River, and it was bright—brighter than light should be, than light could be, reaching behind her eyes and driving her insane…it was pure torment, she almost wanted to let go, let it divide her existence into nothing and nothing again… But instead, she rammed all her weight at the column.

"Give it up!" Jack called.

"If you knew him-" she spat. The Doctor lifted a glowing hand.

"You have to use the paradox machine."

River shook her head. "You said it wasn't done." His eyes pleaded with her. Time was imploding, the world was ending, the Doctor was dying. "I won't do it."

"River…please." His eyes. Those old, young, broken eyes. "I'm the last one… Please."

She bit her lip and pressed her eyes shut. Paradox machines were dangerous. They had to be precisely balanced. They were terrible and _wrong_. And he wanted her to use the reverse, something that had never been used, never been built, wasn't even finished.

"Fine." She stood up and strode toward the light, took a deep inhale, and surged into the TARDIS. Through the chaos and the terror of the box's interior she found a little box and opened the lid. She flipped on the switches and rested her fingers lightly over a small red button. She closed her eyes, willing herself to push it down.

"Mels," Jack yelled, trailing off. The light began rush into the courtyard. Its tendrils wrapped around the TARDIS, invading the inside, crawling up the walls.

"River Song, this is it." The Doctor's voice fueled her courage. She pressed her eyes shut and the button down. The world swirled and then, disappeared.


	10. Chapter 10

The knocking finally woke River, despite all her attempts to cover her ears with a pillow. Her muscles ached, her head especially. She pressed her eyes shut, trying to remember where she'd gotten such a bad hangover. Or was it a hangover? She couldn't tell.

"Professor Song?" Anita's voice trickled through the door to River's flat. "Professor, are you in there?"

"Come in, Anita," River called and rolled back on her pillow. She'd slept in her clothes, it turned out, like a kid. She pulled at her hair a bit and managed to get it into a bun as Anita peeked through the door and walked into the room. She closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead.

"I'm glad you're here," Anita laughed. "When you didn't show up this morning, Dave and I were worried. He said 'give her the day off, she probably had a late night', but you know, I just wanted make sure you got back after the party."

River peeled one eye open. "Did you call me 'professor'?"

"Um… yes," Anita smiled, but her eyes were full of confusion. She gave River a look that asked _are you alright_? "Remember last night? You got your diploma and we all went out to celebrate?"

"No," River protested immediately. She didn't even stop to consider. "It was 1883…" She trailed off, and then her eyebrows furrowed. The thought crossed her mind that 1883 sounded crazy. Must've been a dream she'd been having…. "I mean, yes. We went to that restaurant." She tilted her head. Her mouth opened slightly. Her head was pounding. Absolutely aching. Why couldn't she remember….? It had been her, and Anita, and Dave, and others, and she'd kept hoping the Doctor would show up, even though he didn't drink and she'd had one too many glasses of wine…. God, she usually held her alcohol better than this.

Wait. The Doctor? She almost remembered, but she couldn't reach the memory, the knowledge was too far away, aching, reaching, bleeding, but she couldn't…. What had happened? She wasn't supposed to be here…

Anita murmured under her breath, baffled by River's response. She shifted on the sides of her feet and uncomfortably answered, "If you're not feeling well, I can cancel our meeting with Strackman Lux. The whole Felman Lux Corporation is coming down to hear the plans." She looked worriedly at River.

Bur River wasn't paying attention. She knew she was missing something, something important, something vital. _Keep talking, it's what the Doctor always does. Keep talking and make the time to think it out. _"When is that?"

"It's tonight. We're having the formal proposal…" Anita's voice droned. River closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead with the tops of her fingers. She wasn't supposed to remember, for some reason, and she knew she shouldn't. She didn't want to remember, didn't want to think, didn't want to imagine the truth, and her head hurt like the sharp ring of a pick on stone.

But why? What was so important? It felt so close, like it was at the tip of her tongue. Her mouth opened involuntarily. A sudden chorus of voices hammered at the door. Anita jumped, exchanging a look with River.

Strackman Lux's voice outpaced the others and started to shout, "Dammit, Professor Song, you're going to tell me what-the-hell is going on here!"

River got out of bed. For half an instant, the world rocked back and forth and the floor seemed to plunge far away. Anita grabbed her before she fell over and the vertigo passed just as quickly as it had come. Beyond the door, she could hear Dave yelling, "Mr. Lux, will you just step back a minute?" The rest of the cacophony was a swirl of nondescript voices, rising and falling on the crest of a tumultuous pitch.

"Anita?" River looked at the student, who shrugged in response. The door to River's flat shuddered with the blow from a body and it creaked open, then slammed shut. Dave pressed himself against the wood, half-panting.

"Something really weird is happening with 1963, Doc—Professor. Something's happening. But I don't know—"

Anita gave a groan and sunk down onto the bed. Dave stopped and looked at her, and River turned away from the door.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Do you feel like this has happened before?" Anita rubbed her forehead. "I think I'm having déjà vu."

What was it that had confused Anita? 1883…? And the déjà vu that wasn't… A memory shook River. She stared at Anita and Dave. "But what about the readings? Yesterday they were all eights and nines in 1883, and…" Once she started, the words just kept coming, and the memories with them. "And it was 1912, and the Titanic, but there was nothing there…"

Dave took a step backwards, eyebrows jumping up, forehead wrinkling. "Professor, I don't understand…"

River shook her head, excited. Things were coming back to her in bits and pieces. She searched through her bureau drawers, yanked up her sheets and sieved through the billows and folds of her blankets. She dropped to her knees and her fingers strained to reach the farthest spaces under her bed. "No, I remember… I wasn't even supposed be there. It was an accident, but I couldn't just leave him. And…and…Krakatoa! And he was dying. And the TARDIS was—" Her breath caught as she recalled the damage to the TARDIS, its crying, writhing like a tortured beast. She stretched a little longer and her fingertips bent across the cover of her soft-bound diary. She hooked her nails into one of the grooves in the square-patterned cover and drew it toward her. On her knees, she flipped through the pages. "He left me a note. Or… or someone did, I don't know. A time, a place…"

Her fingers deftly picked the page and traced the words along the grain of the paper. She pictured the Doctor's face, tired and pained. "It didn't work," she murmured at last. "It wasn't ready. Oh, god. The paradox." She looked up at Anita, paling. A breeze flapped the curtains at River's open window like sails. She wondered where Jack was, if he could remember too, come looking for her. River got to her feet, dropping the diary. She had woken up in bed, placed back into a timeline, even though she could remember. And if it had done the same for Jack…

River exhaled, a long, drawn out breath. _1963. _If the paradox machine had sent her back home, could that mean…? Maybe it had saved him after all. "The Doctor's alive." Hearing the words aloud made her smile, her tensed muscles relaxed. Dave looked at her sideways. He took Anita's hand and sat down next to her on the bed.

"Anita, I promise you'll be fine," she paused, ignoring a swell in the shouting match outside. "It'll pass, you'll be fine. Just some temporal disturbance." She glanced over her shoulder. "Take care of her, Dave."

"Lux is going to kill you," Dave said.

River's shoulders lifted indifferently. "As if it matters at this point." She pushed out the door.

A flood of people greeted her. River strode through the crowd powerfully, and quickly enough that no one realized at first that she'd gone by. Lux spun on heel, face red enough to give off steam. His nostrils flared at the bright drop of his nose that was quickly taking on the appearance of a cherry tomato.

"River Song," he growled menacingly.

"Yes, Mr. Lux?" She spared him a short glance, filled with disinterest.

"Would you care," he began, "to explain yourself this time?" He spat out the words slowly, tongue barely leashed enough to keep civil. "Or are you going to swan off again?" He marched next her, but the rest of the crowd was catching up. River frowned.

"All this noise!" she shouted. "Who are all these people?"

Lux's shoulders shot up. "Give me one good reason why I should keep you on this expedition because so help me, I will—"

"If you have a problem, would you let me know before you form an angry mob? Threats without explanations, Mr. Lux. How does that accomplish anything?" Another figure emerged from behind her.

"Well, that didn't work, did it, Mels Pond? How are things?" Jack's trench coat swirled by her side. She looked over at him and shook her head. "You going to find him?" She nodded; he flashed an ironic half-smile. He'd certainly gotten there fast enough, come to find her just like she predicted. "Anything I can do?"

Maybe it was her memory—still foggy—but she couldn't figure out why all these people were here, shouting, driving her mad. Did they have a reason or were they all with Lux? "Shut them up, Captain?"

He gave her a mock salute and whipped out pistol. Several rounds blasted into the ceiling. "Alright, that's enough!" A collective flinch shook through the crowd. The hallway tumbled to dead silence as a few specks of plaster drifted to the ground. Even Lux shut his mouth into a thin line, suddenly pallid. River curled her tongue at the roof her mouth.

"And your vortex manipulator, if you don't mind." Jack started to dig around in his pocket. "The good one, please," she interrupted, nodding to his wrist. He rolled his eyes, annoyed, but yanked his hand from his pocket and started to undo the strap at his wrist.

She took it from him and wrapped it around her arm. "Good luck," he said, eyebrows lifting.

Lux's eyes widened. "River Song…"

River shrugged. "We'll have to chat when I get back, sorry." She smiled, and Lux cast a glance at Jack, with gun still out. She programed the vortex manipulator. Jack nodded, and she pressed the button. Time and space rushed all around her.


	11. Chapter 11

River stumbled to a stop with a gasp. It was snowing. Or rather… no, it wasn't. It was too warm to be snowing, and if River had things right, this was Texas, so it couldn't be snowing, absolutely not. She caught a white dot with an open hand and rubbed it with her thumb. Confetti. It was confetti. It tumbled to the asphalt around her, lodged itself in her hair, dropped onto her clothes. November. 1963. Despite the warmth she felt a chill run up her spine.

Then someone shouted roughly, "You stupid-!" But the rest was lost in a gaggle of legs and arms, and the blare of a car horn. The Doctor pushed her out of the road and the street sweeper charged by. His face hung just inches above hers, and even though he was panting, he looked like he was choosing the right words to swear at her. The crowds milling up and down the street stopped to look at them.

"Sweetie," she murmured in his ear, the tiniest of smiles on her lips, "people are _staring_." He hurriedly picked himself off from where he was pressed up against her, his leather jacket peeling off her skin. She would have sworn he was blushing. He sat on the curb, and then pulled himself up.

"I can't believe you," he growled. "You come all this way with that _thing_," he pointed with disgust at the vortex manipulator, "and the first thing you do is _flirt_?"

River sat upright and rubbed her sore back, shrugging. "Priorities, sweetie." Her smile faded. She sniffed and climbed to her feet. "And…thanks. The middle of the street wasn't a good place to stand." He rubbed his eyes tiredly and looked around. River continued. "What are you doing here? 1963…?" She trailed off and gasped. "Kennedy? You aren't…. You wouldn't!"

"So what?" he countered. "The world's ending as it is."

She glanced around and hissed, "The assassination of JFK is a fixed point in time!"

"Didn't you hear me? The world's ending, _sweetie_," he mocked her tone, " so we may as well do something worthwhile before it goes completely."

Her mouth dropped open. "Did you hit your bloody head when that column fell on you?"

He started to retort, then the sky tilted sideways. River stumbled over, crashing into something…the Doctor? The ground fell to a ninety degree angle. He grabbed her shoulders and slapped a young, knotted hand over her nose and mouth. The sunlight wavered. The world went violet, black. Then the Doctor slammed against a concrete pole. River's body hit the Doctor's, and his hands released her. She gasped and fell to her hands and knees. "What…was…that?"

The Doctor stretched his shoulders and tried to get back his breath. He inhaled deeply and gasped, "A hole."

"A what?" River's voice echoed and she looked up. The building was old and huge, a warehouse out of work. She breathed in the cloud of dust they'd stirred up. She paused to pant. The floor was a maze of concrete beams and poles.

"A hole. In the universe… in time and space, and we just… fell through." A perplexed look crossed his face. "It dissolved in that exact place and that particular moment."

"So we fell out of the universe and then back in." River exhaled and stood up. She grabbed the Doctor's hand and helped him to his feet. He nodded, shrugging, and cast her a glance, somewhere between concerned and determined.

"Who's in here?" A stark American voice stained with years of suspicion rang across the empty warehouse. River stopped, and heard the click of a gun. It walked toward them and River nudged the Doctor's shoulder. His eyebrows sunk at her. _This was unexpected_. River lifted her hands and circled the pole, forcing the Doctor along with her. They both stopped to find a man pointing a gun at them. His face was red and flush with sweat, and he looked like he was about to start shouting…or shooting. The warehouse turned silent, except for the noise from outside. The sun slanted in the windows at the far end.

River's mobile rang in her pocket. Her mouth dropped open and his gun swung to face her. "What's that?" he snapped. The Doctor raised his hands and River did likewise. The man's eyebrows lifted and he motioned at her with the gun.

"It's a…" River struggled for words. "A…a…um, portable telephone?"

"Take it out."

"I…" she started.

"Take it out!" His voice rang, magnified. River didn't let herself flinch and she kept one hand up while the other slid to her pocket. She brought the phone to her ear and answered it. A familiar voice started on the other end.

"Professor?" Dave said. "Where are you?"

"Um…well, that's complicated. Has something happened?" River looked at the Doctor, all tensed, and then at the man, whose face had turned into shock. He stared at the device in her hand with confusion.

"What are you doing?" he demanded. "Give it to me!" His thumb played around the trigger and he shifted his weight to hold out his hand.

"Okay, okay. Dave, I'm going to hand you over to someone else now. Please," her voice dropped, "can you try to keep him calm?"

"Professor Song, what-?" River didn't hear the rest. The man snatched the phone from her hand and mimicked her, bringing it up to his ear.

"Hello?" he ventured. A tense silence followed and he flinched. His hand hit several buttons as he dropped it. When he bent to retrieve it, Dave's voice erupted from the speaker.

"Who is this?"

He paused, then, "Oswald. Lee Harvey." Silence, again. Dave sputtered. River glanced sideways at the Doctor. His fingers tensed and uncurled. Lee Harvey Oswald. An assassin. Of the president.

"Sorry… I don't…." Dave tried to get out a full sentence. "I don't…. Okay. Okay, then. How are you doing…Mr. Oswald?"

He glared at River. "You English folks got some technology we don't know about here?"

"Sorry, but is Professor Song there?" Oswald looked out at the windows. The cheering of the crowd intensified. River could see his thoughts play across his face. _The President is en route_. Suddenly the Doctor moved, arm wrapping around her waist. He pulled her blaster off her belt and aimed. Her head snapped to the side.

"Are you insane?"

Oswald dropped the phone and the gun swung to face the Doctor. The Doctor's hand shook, but he kept his grip on the blaster, tight. "Doctor, what are you doing?"

"Professor Song?" Dave's voice echoed from the ground. "Are you alright? What's happening?"

"He's a killer," the Doctor whispered in a hiss. "Murderer. He kills a good man." He shook visibly. The desperation in his eyes strained his face. He wanted to do something. To do anything. Lee Harvey Oswald went totally rigid and hoisted the gun a little higher. River could see him lining up the shot to the Doctor's forehead.

"You want to say that again, Mister?" he barked. "You some kind of police? Secret agents?"

"Doctor, put it down," River tried to say calmly. Her hands cooled, clammy. "You don't want to do this."

"River! Do you know what this man does? What kind of horror the world plunges into? I can save it!" The Doctor's voice shot up, loud. He didn't even look at her. His knuckles turned white. She wondered if he'd ever fired one of those before.

"This is a fixed point!" she argued. "What do you think is going to happen?"

Oswald started shouting at the top of his lungs. "Tell me who you are this damn minute. I'll kill you now! Put down that gun!"

"Professor? Professor, what's going on?" Dave. Somewhere. Some-when.

"Look at this, River. I can save someone's life. I can do this!"

"Not like this. Not ever like this. My love, you're better than him—"

"I'll kill both of you, now!"

"Professor!" Oswald fired a shot into the ceiling. This time, River flinched. The shouting never stopped, a barrage of noise from all sides, Dave over the phone, The Doctor and the assassin screaming at each other.

"Now!"

"He's a murderer!" The Doctor's voice echoed.

"_But so are you_!" She immediately clamped a hand over her mouth and suddenly, bruised silence warped around them. The Doctor's face shattered. The blaster fell from his limp hand. "I'm sorry. I'm _so _sorry. You can't do this."

Oswald recoiled, stepped back. Warily, River stooped for her blaster. The second she reached it, the building shifted, the poles flipped horizontal. "Oh, no." She held her breath…

…and rammed against a lemonade stand. The impact stole her breath. She wheezed, falling forward onto her hands and knees. Another hole. Her heart pounded in her chest. It hurt. She hurt. Bringing up the Doctor's past. God, that was low. Where was he?

"Doctor?" She struggled to her feet and searched around, spinning in a circle. The crowds had doubled, throngs waiting to see the President pass by. Never knowing they were about to see history. She could see the car rolling down the street if she strained over the heads, waiting and laughing and waving. Only a few minutes. She had to find him. Quickly.

A flash of leather, black. Running.

River threw herself through the mass of people—they were buying lemonade and she was saving the universe. The Doctor sprinted down the street, his arms pumping. River screamed at him to stop, and the people around her fell silent, but she didn't notice. She pushed her way around a few women chatting and her arms hit the Doctor's back. They both collapsed onto the ground. Then bullets ripped like gashes, thundering through the air. The Doctor's face twisted. River caught her breath. Screaming started, high pitched and frantic. Through the legs and shoes stampeding around them, she could see the TARDIS. "Come on," she whispered. "Come on, let's go." She tugged on his arms, barely keeping it together herself. "Let's go home." They moved slowly through the chaos to the blue box.

"Home," repeated the Doctor, sorely. He unlocked the TARDIS and they entered. "Home."


	12. Chapter 12

"_He's a murderer!" _

"_But so are you!"_

River closed the door behind her softly and rested on the ramp. The Doctor stomped past her and slammed down controls on the console. He jammed levers downward and yanked on plotters, forcing up switches. The sound of his feet clanking on the grates ceased half way around. Obscured by the time rotor, he smashed his hands down. River took it like a blow. She felt guilt, like blood, pulse through her veins.

"How dare you," he hissed at last, not moving. River closed her eyes. It left his throat again in a cry. "How dare you!" He emerged from behind the console. "I did what I had to do! What right do you have?"

"My love, I—" What was she supposed to say? How to explain that she'd only been trying to keep them safe, trying to get the gun out of his hand, and the words had just come out? _Murderer. _So easy to say. Was that because it was true? "I'm sorry," she finished weakly.

"No. No! You don't _get _to apologize. Because I faced it, not you. I fought on the front lines when I could have kept running. I watched them all die, over and over and over, at the hands of the most terrible beings history has ever devised. The Nightmare Child. The Could-Have-Been King. The Neverweres. And if you think, if you think for one second that I wanted to kill them... _my people_…" he shook in a breath and swallowed the tears in his eyes. "_Then you're wrong_."

River stayed silent as he paced the round of the TARDIS. She stared at his back and leaned against one of the coral beams. She missed the familiar gait of her Doctor, all tweed and hair, bowtie and confidence. And in the end she would lose him too, give him up to this agony. Their futures lead to the wrong places. She wanted to go home and feel his easy smile remember her. Homesick. That was new.

"But the man I know would never pick up a gun like that," she replied at last. "He wouldn't threaten someone, he wouldn't intend to shoot them, no matter what good it did the world, and out there, today? That wasn't you. _You_ would never. And if you weren't going to listen to me, I had to say something to—"

"Something?" he yelled. "Comparing me to that… that man," he pointed out the TARDIS, arm quivering. "Is that your strategy? _You?_ Is that my future, _River Song_?" A smile cut his face, cruel and demeaning. "Because I don't want it!" His voice collapsed just before his knees, and he caught himself on a piece of coral, trying to hide it. His age crawled over his face, and suddenly, River could see the toll of each and every one of those nine hundred years carved in his eyes. She knew what he wanted, the irredeemable ache of a thousand genocides on his hearts. Life after so much death.

"Doctor…"

"But in the end, I suppose you're right." Mourning and resignation inched into his posture, beating him down, an old, weary man. "I tried to save them. I tried to save everyone. And I couldn't, it's just I…. I couldn't. They were suffering and they were going to destroy everything, the whole universe. It would've gone on forever, River. The Time War, the last and greatest, without an end.

"And so I had to do it." He looked River fiercely in the eye. "I would've died with them. Should have…." he paused, and quietly, "…I wanted to." The words hung on the air, unrequited. "Now I'm all alone, in the entire universe, and I can feel it. I'm alone."

River took a deep breath and answered decisively, "You've got me_." And you will _always_ have me._ The Doctor broke the gaze and shifted on the balls of his feet. "So you wanted to save the President because…."

"I've got nothing else left." He shook his head and blinked. Nothing left. River's mouth twisted, but she had nothing left to say. He closed his eyes, waiting for composure; he changed the subject without skipping a beat. "What are you doing here anyway?"

River exhaled, forcing back tears if her own. She tried to smile, but it came off broken. "Trying to keep you from ramming into a time lock, remember?"

The Doctor huffed, sniffing half a bitter laugh. His head shot up, a sudden realization in his eyes. "Wait. A time lock. River, that's…._fantastic_." He spun and ran back to the console. River bounded up the ramp.

"What?"

"We can do it. We can save the universe." He looked at her and flashed a relieved grin, all pain hidden behind glinting eyes. "And you're going to ask how. But wait a second." River shut her mouth as the Doctor jammed down some buttons and pulled around the monitor. He turned to face her, leaning forward. "A time lock is a huge temporal phenomenon, it takes a ridiculous amount of power, so when it forms it takes time to stabilize. Now, if we collide with it, hurl the TARDIS against it—"

"Are you trying to get us both killed?" she gaped. "That's the craziest plan I've ever heard."

"How long have you known me, again?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Do you understand the kind of surplus energy that it'll take to rip away one timeline and replace it with the proper one? It'll fry the TARDIS to a crisp!"

"Exactly." The Doctor pointed to a lever and River pulled it down and sideways. "The power of the time lock will split the paradox from reality, and we channel it through the TARDIS and into the matrix on Gallifrey. That'll hold it."

"It'll have to be the perfect collision." River followed the Doctor around the console.

"Oh, River Song. Better than perfect." His fingers moved like lightning, coordinates entered into the computer. "Gallifrey technically isn't there anymore, but," his voice dropped off for a fraction of a second, but like it was just any other planet, he kept on, "we can get close. The fringe of the Time War. It'll be bumpy. Old girl won't like it." He patted the time rotor without stopping the flood of characters onto the monitor. "But she can cope. Are you ready?" His hand gripped the last lever.

"This'll mean it's over. You and me. I'll never see you again." River bit her lip. Maybe it was time to let him go. In the end, she knew that this had to pass.

"You won't even remember." He tilted his head and looked at her plainly. "If we do this, then I've got the future, and you'll have the past. Don't you want that?"

River inhaled through her nose. He was right, of course, and she'd seen this day coming for a long, long time. "You stupid man. If you die, I swear I will have your head." The Doctor smiled. It was that big toothy grin, full of mayhem and scheming. River laughed, exasperated, drained. She laid her hand on top of his. They pulled down together.


	13. Chapter 13

The hum of the TARDIS built into a whirlwind of noise. River felt a brush of satisfaction—maybe he was still her madman in a box after all. From across the controls the Doctor grinned at her. "Alright, one last go. Let's make it _fantastic."_

"Don't wear it out, sweetie," she replied.

"A little early for that isn't it?" he said, over the bright sounds of the gadgets coming to life around them.

River smirked. "We'll find out." She maneuvered the screen around in front of her and kept an eye on it as she worked the stabilizers. The Doctor started counting down. One of the stabilizers rattled, just a little. She squinted at it. It turned and she snatched at it to keep it still.

"…9…8…."

"Something's not right." River tilted the screen, shaking her head, not believing it. _We can't be off. We can't be—_

"7…6…"

She jammed desperately at any gears within reach. "We're off course." The Doctor's intense eyes reached up, edging on panic, but he didn't stop counting. Her hands slammed the console. "We can't correct it." The realization spilled out like a curse. No seconds chances. This was it.

"3…2…1…"

Rumbling. Fracturing, grinding, snapping, bursting. A cacophony, a cataclysmic pounding. The TARDIS lurched at a 45 degree angle. River felt her feet slip on the grates; the soles of her shoes came out from under her. She lunged for the console and then the air snapped out of her lungs. Gasping on top of the metal digging into her back, she tried for a full breath before crawling to her hands and knees. The Doctor was pressed up against one of the coral beams, hands wrapped around it, and his mouth was moving, spitting out dire shapes without any sound. He was screaming at her. Why couldn't she hear—?

Her thoughts cut off as the TARDIS whipped backwards, thrashing and tumbling like a car in a head-on collision. It threw her sideways. She felt the impact on her ribs as she slammed against something, and just as quickly jerked forward, her neck wrenching at the weight of her head. For half an instant she was looking up at fire—the console, sparks bursting across it and engulfing it in light and flame. The cables strung above their heads broke and swung down, cascading embers. The TARDIS lights flickered. River wrapped her fingers around the holes in the grating and shoved herself with a grunt onto her elbows. She glanced to the coral beam. But the Doctor was gone. She took a sharp breath. The air in lungs seared her sides, her chest burning. Broken ribs? Oh, god, she hoped not.

River tried to call out to the Doctor, but her voice wouldn't obey her. A grimace broke her features and she pulled herself to her feet, her body screaming profanities at her every movement. The ache was bad enough that she would have willingly just lain down again. Where was he? Where the hell could he be? River realized her ears were ringing, a cringe burst through her nerves. The noise…the awful noise in her ears…. Her back hit the TARDIS doors as the box fell to the right. One of her shoes slipped off and she stumbled back; her hands caught the latch. The door snapped open, wrenching her arms around. River wrapped her fingers around her side, biting her lips. Pain cut through her. She gripped at the windows. Outside, there was nothing. Complete gaping emptiness, extending forever, swallowing time and space. River couldn't stop the shiver that ran up her back. It was _nothing_, a menacing, imprescriptible _void_, looming, brooding…

The Doctor's hands gripped her and spun her around, fingers lying against her cheek, quieting the scream working its way up her throat. He slammed the doors shut behind her. "Look at me," he said loudly, practically shouting. She could still barely hear him. "Look at me. Energy is flooding the TARDIS. We broke through the barrier, punctured the time lock. Do you understand?" River's knees buckled underneath her. The Doctor held her up. Wide-eyed, she nodded. "Once the time lock repairs itself, that's it," he continued. "We're trapped."

"Get out before we're part of events. Okay." She grabbed onto the railings for support. Stubbornly, she pushed his hands away and sniffing to hide a grunt of pain, stood up straight. "Need to move fast." _Oh, god. _River turned back to the console, a dancing mess of lights and explosions breaking apart the TARDIS. The Doctor ran up the ramp, leather coat flaring. _Pretend it doesn't hurt. _Outside, there was a roar of noise, the impossible grinding of metal against metal. She didn't even have to ask what it was to know. _Into the war_. His hands were already darting through the flames leaping around the controls. He pushed up the sleeves of his jacket, fighting for all he was worth. . "You and me, we've been through worse," she gasped. The Doctor twisted, peeking back at her. Lines creased his forehead; his eyebrows wrinkled. Emptiness, blank and confused, was on his face.

"Doctor," River warned. "Doctor, do you recognize me?" Suddenly, he collapsed. River caught him before his body smashed against the floor. Her breath caught, pain and fear all together. His knees sagged; this time, _she _held _him_ up. A groan ripped from his throat as his body curled and he clutched at his hearts.

"River," he growled, barely getting out the words. "River, I'm forgetting you."

She shook her head. He couldn't expect her to do this alone. "No, you can't. Not yet."

"It's working… the timelines are ripping apart. But we have to get out. Before…before we…" He roared, incoherently, fingers twisting his jumper. He panted quickly, "Before we forget. It's happening… to you… River, LOOK AT ME!"

She realized her attention had drifted, and for a brief, terrifying instant, she had no idea who he was. "Doctor….I can't…" Her eyes flickered shut and snapped open. His nose, his ears, his short hair—she tried to memorize every feature because she _would not forget again_, but—she released him. The TARDIS shuddered violently. She caught herself on the console. The lights flickered. The noise around them built into a deafening thunder. River pulled out the flashing, sputtering screen, showing the puncture in the time lock…closing. Healing itself. "We have to go now." She wrapped an arm around her ribs.

"The Time War…" he trailed off distantly.

"It's affecting you. I know, my love." The Doctor steadied himself, hands on her shoulders. She leaned in and kissed his cheek. Somewhere beyond the noise, she heard the cloister bell ringing madly. Reaching blindly into the control, she pulled a lever.

Her Doctor had told her once about stepping through the crack in time, about stepping back through his own memories. But River had never realized how much it _hurt_. Memories erasing in reverse. Falling across time. Bits of herself fizzled out of existence. She tried to keep a hold on them with futile desperation, but they passed across her eyes and vanished out of her head completely. Things she'd known minutes ago were _so _far away and she couldn't reach them, but she tried, like wrapping her fingers around smoke.

_Lemonade on the palms of her hands, sticky, slipped and forgotten cups all around her. _

"No. Stay _here._" she couldn't hold him any longer. The Doctor crumpled on the grates and she helped to hoist him onto his feet. He collapsed against the chair.

_There were hundreds of feet trampling by, unaware of what came next. She wanted to scream at the, to warn them… but she knew better. The Doctor had threatened to shoot the assassin of John F. Kennedy. She had to…_

"I did what I had to," she ground out apologetically. The hole was shrinking faster. They had to make it through. She had to focus. If she kept slipping through memories, they would die… another flash of the past startled her.

_Jack grinned handsomely. Bright, finger on the trigger of his gun. Plaster from the ceiling settled on her shoes._

"No, stay here!" River yanked up a knob, grabbed a handle and pulled. The TARDIS rocketed forward. The crashing around her only intensified. Metal ripping, explosions thrashing. She wasn't even fighting, and she could feel the horror of the Time War pressing in on her. A burst of flame stopped her short. The TARDIS exploding—through the smoke, River couldn't see the Doctor any longer. She worked blindly, fighting to stay in the present.

_The breeze stirred her curls as the TARDIS disappeared. She gulped a deep breath of air, trying to calm her racing heart. Her lips trembled and she pressed a hand over her mouth. She could count the times he'd kissed her before, and never once had she thought this would be one of them. The students clearing past stopped to look at her, this woman kneeling in the middle of the hall. Did she want to believe what had just happened?_

The memory dissolved. River shook her head furiously, pushing forward. Her fingers curled around the monitor. A seizure-like pulsation rocked it, and the screen shut off entirely, leaving River with only the image of the shrinking puncture engraved in her eyes. She hoped he was going in the right direction. How could she know? "We aren't going to make," she breathed. Her head felt like it might burst.

_Salt water in her lungs._

The Doctor. She had to remember the Doctor.

_The Titanic._

Her Doctor. Always.

"_You expect me to choose? Play god?! We don't get to decide who lives and dies, that's not fair! We don't do that!" _

River's body shook. The pain in her ribs, the ripping apart of the thoughts in her head, the burns coating her hands. Her legs wobbled. "One last try," she whispered. She circled the console, using it to keep herself up. The blur of levers grew foggy in her mind. "Come on, old girl. _Please_." The TARDIS crashed against something and River lost her grip. She curled up on her side against the burning grates. Her eyes closed. She stopped breathing.

All of the sudden, like a switch snapped, coolness slid over River, replacing the terror, the void of the Time War. The air cleared. She took a deep, arching breath, inhaling with a shudder. Across the TARDIS floor, lying beside the console the Doctor… _the Doctor_. He was fading from her memory. The color of his eyes, gone. His smile, dimming.

_But they'd done it_. River crawled to her knees and landed the TARDIS. She smiled, gasping, and started to laugh. "We did it. Doctor, we did it." She glanced upward, nearly giggling like a little girl. River stumbled to her feet, tottering as she left the TARDIS.

They were in an alley. Earth. London. Oh god, of all places. River barely made it out into the street, searching around. Her memories… the Doctor… all so muddled…

She looked up, squinting in the sunlight of the late afternoon. A shop towered above her and she read the name, not understanding why it was important. _Henrik's. _Stylish mannequins stood in the windows. Maybe it was where the Doctor was meant to be, there to be saved by his Rose. _Who was that? _Or maybe it was nothing at all.

River tumbled onto the sidewalk, the world skewing with over-bright colors and silence.

* * *

><p>She rolled over in bed, glancing over at her bedroom door. A long evening dress hung there, a note in the Doctor's untidy scrawl pinned to it. He'd popped in, middle of the night, to leave her clothing for a date. She shook her head, a pleased little smile crossing her lips. Her mad man. Mad man with a box.<p>

For an instant, the thought caught her off guard, as if she expected something else to be there. She had the peculiar feeling that she'd been dreaming something terrible and impossible, but just as quickly, it was gone, and she lay back on her pillow, wondering where he planned to take her this time.


	14. Epilogue

**Alright... wow! I guess this is it, the end. Thank you, everybody who's read and reviewed and everything else. You guys are the best. I don't own Doctor Who or any of the characters within~**

* * *

><p>In the lobby, a man in a tuxedo leaned against a blue box. His top hat was askew and his scarf hung lazily around his neck. River Song smiled to herself, hiding it by turning to close the door behind her. Neatly composed, she rotated to face him, curving her neck flirtatiously as she walked down the steps. "All dressed up and no place to go," she sighed, swirling in her skirts. With a wink, she shrugged. "You don't look too bad either."<p>

He cracked an ironic grin at her, huge and bright, managing to look both handsome and like a bouncy nine-year-old at once. "So where are we?"

"Jim the Fish? Have we done Jim the Fish yet?"

"He's doing well, last I checked." The Doctor bent back, propped against the TARDIS, the sweep of brown hair from under his hat falling in front of his eyes. For an instant, it surprised her, and everything about him was unexpected; his face, his clothes, his voice. For an instant, it was the sense of remembering something that had never happened. She shook her head, shirking the feeling. Odd…why would she expect him to be someone else? She tucked a stray curl behind her ear, pressing her lips together. Concern crossed the Doctor's face. He stood upright, shoulders pushing back.

"Fine… I'm fine," she replied to the question he was opening his mouth to ask. "I don't know what came over me." She smiled at him to prove it and he relaxed back, missing the side of the TARDIS completely and sprawling all over the floor. River laughed, adjusting her dress to stoop down and pick him up. "Where are we going?"

"Oh, you know. Around." He shrugged, trying to look cool and nonchalant, like he hadn't just fallen onto his face.

River lifted an eyebrow as he brushed off his sleeves. "You left me a dress for _around_?"

"Oh, don't ruin the surprise!"

"I've had enough of surprises from you for a lifetime, Doctor."

He nodded without looking at her. "Mutual." The Doctor cocked his head and pushed open the TARDIS door. Her eyebrows furrowed, but River followed him in. Like she'd always seen it, the glass floors shined and walls shimmered, bright copper rimming the chaos that formed the console. She grinned as he rushed past her to pilot before she had a chance to correct the settings or, heaven forbid, touch the brake.

"I hope you can get me back on time, this trip…after last time." She flicked up one of the stabilizers while he wasn't looking, rolling her eyes. "I've got a meeting first thing in the morning for some last minute preparations for an expedition. Mr. Lux does hate it when I'm late." The TARDIS hummed contentedly, the brake a comforting noise over the dematerialization.

The Doctor leaned sideways from the other side of the controls, hat tipping precariously as he glanced at her. Something flashed across his eyes, something melancholy, tragic and unbearable. But just as quickly, the look was gone. River wasn't even sure she'd actually seen it. He pressed his lips together bravely. "I'll have you back on time." He spun around, flipping random levers. "Tell you what… we'll make a night of it. Out to dinner with Julia Child…. Or gelato on that moon in that one system…. Do you remember that? Star-flavored ice cream, wasn't that something? Amazing stuff. I love stuff." The TARDIS swayed gently, and the Doctor's top hat tumbled to the ground.

River's eyes widened in surprise. "Did you get a haircut?"

"What?! I… uh… no, of course not. I like my hair. My hair is cool." He frantically shoved the hat back on.

River tilted her head. "Alright, then," she replied, absolutely not believing it. He seemed so nervous. _Why was that?_ "I like it, though." She shrugged and twisted a knob.

"Do you? I thought it was a bit daring." He licked his fingers and smoothed some of it to the side under his hat.

"No, no. It's very nice. As long as you don't go shaving it all off." She blinked and frowned, sniffing as he laughed. For a fraction of a second, she had the wrong picture in her head when she thought of the Doctor, but it faded, cleanly, unable to call it back.

They both fell silent, resting in the quiet of the TARDIS' movement. It should have been comfortable between the two of them. Instead, there was unease, trepidation that radiated from the Doctor, unspoken pains and joys filling the still.

"Are you alright?" she asked quietly.

"I'm always alright." His lips twisted up, how she always knew he was lying. She waited for him to continue; there was nothing she could do to hurry him, and the hush seemed too delicate to break. A few minutes later, he managed a little noise and reached into his suit. "River, I have something to give you. And you have to keep it with you. Always." Her face softened. The Doctor edged his way around the TARDIS to her. "First, close your eyes."

She let her eyelids shut.

"Now, hold out your hands."

Into her hands dropped a thing long and pen-like, something she might have held a thousand times before. She opened her mouth to say, "A sonic s—"

But the Doctor kissed her on the lips, softly. She opened an eye halfway, but gave up on it, clutching the old sonic screwdriver in one hand and wrapping her arms around him. _Her _Doctor. His hands swept around her, one cupping her neck, and one's fingers etching into the small of her back. She kissed him, really kissed him, deeply and truly, all the things she'd never been able to tell him...and he held her like he needed it with all his soul. Maybe seconds, maybe hours slipped around her, and the Doctor pulled away, resting his forehead against hers.

"Have you ever been to the Singing Towers, River?" he whispered, so quietly that apart from him, she would have never heard it. She cast her eyes down, watching his lips move.

"They're on Darillium, aren't they?"

He paused for a brief moment and gave an imperceptible nod. "That's where we're going."

"It'll be beautiful," she replied, pressing her free hand against the back of his head. She glimpsed the screwdriver in her hand, considering it. It wasn't the one he used—this one was stockier, and blue, not green. _Why?_ she wondered again. She pecked his lips with one last kiss and slipped out of his hold. "Let's go, then. You can't prevent the future."

River held out her hand, and he eyed it with the same reluctance as someone she vaguely remembered meeting… perhaps ages ago. That other man who she'd brought home, whose hand she'd taken, _short hair…northern accent…_and they jumped off of cliffs, learning to fly without falling. _But it was just that dream_, she told herself. _It wasn't real._ Yet part of her liked her liked the idea, and her mouth tugged up into a tender smile. "Come on, Doctor. You and me."

He wrapped his fingers around hers, and he held on the rest of the night.


End file.
